Proof that God is a god of restoration:
At the age of sixteen I discovered that I was pregnant. Being baptized at the age of ten and raised in church, I "knew better" than to take the path that led up to my unplanned pregnancy but allowed my thoughts and body to be lured away into gross rebellion by the Tempter.
Four months before the birth of my son, I married my high school sweetheart. Although I can look back and see that God never left my side, I lived for over a decade in a life that was molded by one bad choice after another. On the outside my husband and I had it all together--three healthy kids, good jobs, a miracle story of success. But inside, I was being destroyed by the guilt and shame that seemed to engulf me--barely even able to breathe.
My guilt and shame only increased when, during a season of near separation and divorce, I found counterfeit comfort through a "girls just want to have fun" style of life. Unable to stay with my husband yet unable to leave, I cried out to God with a challenge that I wasn't sure he was capable of meeting: I don't love this man anymore, God. If you want me to love him and stay married to him, you will have to change my heart.
Disclaimer: I firmly believe that God LOVES a challenge and will--as it pleases him--show up and show off!
The Lord delivered our marriage (woo-hoo!) and through its new birth in Christ I--no make that WE--experienced a depth of love and friendship that was truly supernatural and completely beyond human words. My marriage and famliy life were divine, but what about the issues with me?
Sadly, my continued lack of intimacy with God only fueled the dislike I had for myself and my fears of death and being left behind. I spent countless nights awake wondering what would happen to me and my children if I were to die or if one of them did. I was uncertain of the answer but sure that I was too disgusting to a Holy God to ever be accepted into heaven. My life was a complete and utter mess and quite frankly, I felt hopeless, afraid and unwanted.
I think that was exactly where God wanted me to be--sick of myself and desperate for his love, because after years and months of longing but unwilling to give in....I gave in. My misery left me no choice but to consider the fullness of Him and one August day (after seeing The Passion of the Christ) I broke. There came a flooding of remorse and tears that poured upon the earth of my past like the days of Noah--completely drowning every bad choice, wrong decision, year spent apart from Jesus. And the best part: I realized that God was not just my Savior but my Lord, Father, Rescuerer, Redeemer. The Lord God my Savior was the god who RESTORED me! He was the Real Deal and wanted nothing more than to have me run, collapse into his arms and wet his feet with my tears of remorse, gratefulness and love. I can not think of any other way to thank my precious King than to devote my life to him and serve the women he so earnestly loves and desires.
How did I ever live without him? I didn't live without him. I was, in a sense, dead. But now my security of eternal life with Him resonates into every breath I take while here on earth. Breaths of hope, promise and those precious breaths of the Redeemed!
Please don't believe Satan's lies that you are too bad for God, that he doesn't want you or your past isn't truly forgiven. Because when the Son sets you free you are truly free (John 8:36) and that Son was sent here by his Father for you.....specifically for you! (John 3:16) And here is another truth, no matter who you are and what you've done, I along with my team, love you. We do what we do because of you. We believe God has a plan for your life and it is our joy to see you catch that wave and ride it into eternity!
Loving you,
Julie Peyton
Founder, Fit for the King Ministries International
Four months before the birth of my son, I married my high school sweetheart. Although I can look back and see that God never left my side, I lived for over a decade in a life that was molded by one bad choice after another. On the outside my husband and I had it all together--three healthy kids, good jobs, a miracle story of success. But inside, I was being destroyed by the guilt and shame that seemed to engulf me--barely even able to breathe.
My guilt and shame only increased when, during a season of near separation and divorce, I found counterfeit comfort through a "girls just want to have fun" style of life. Unable to stay with my husband yet unable to leave, I cried out to God with a challenge that I wasn't sure he was capable of meeting: I don't love this man anymore, God. If you want me to love him and stay married to him, you will have to change my heart.
Disclaimer: I firmly believe that God LOVES a challenge and will--as it pleases him--show up and show off!
The Lord delivered our marriage (woo-hoo!) and through its new birth in Christ I--no make that WE--experienced a depth of love and friendship that was truly supernatural and completely beyond human words. My marriage and famliy life were divine, but what about the issues with me?
Sadly, my continued lack of intimacy with God only fueled the dislike I had for myself and my fears of death and being left behind. I spent countless nights awake wondering what would happen to me and my children if I were to die or if one of them did. I was uncertain of the answer but sure that I was too disgusting to a Holy God to ever be accepted into heaven. My life was a complete and utter mess and quite frankly, I felt hopeless, afraid and unwanted.
I think that was exactly where God wanted me to be--sick of myself and desperate for his love, because after years and months of longing but unwilling to give in....I gave in. My misery left me no choice but to consider the fullness of Him and one August day (after seeing The Passion of the Christ) I broke. There came a flooding of remorse and tears that poured upon the earth of my past like the days of Noah--completely drowning every bad choice, wrong decision, year spent apart from Jesus. And the best part: I realized that God was not just my Savior but my Lord, Father, Rescuerer, Redeemer. The Lord God my Savior was the god who RESTORED me! He was the Real Deal and wanted nothing more than to have me run, collapse into his arms and wet his feet with my tears of remorse, gratefulness and love. I can not think of any other way to thank my precious King than to devote my life to him and serve the women he so earnestly loves and desires.
How did I ever live without him? I didn't live without him. I was, in a sense, dead. But now my security of eternal life with Him resonates into every breath I take while here on earth. Breaths of hope, promise and those precious breaths of the Redeemed!
Please don't believe Satan's lies that you are too bad for God, that he doesn't want you or your past isn't truly forgiven. Because when the Son sets you free you are truly free (John 8:36) and that Son was sent here by his Father for you.....specifically for you! (John 3:16) And here is another truth, no matter who you are and what you've done, I along with my team, love you. We do what we do because of you. We believe God has a plan for your life and it is our joy to see you catch that wave and ride it into eternity!
Loving you,
Julie Peyton
Founder, Fit for the King Ministries International
